The pitfalls of being a holiday guest: relaxation or stress?

The pitfalls of being a holiday guest: relaxation or stress?

Holidays with friends often promise a relaxed break - so the original motto. But it is not uncommon for the stay in a remote paradise to turn into a real challenge. Our author has had her own experiences that show that it is sometimes better to appreciate your own four walls.

In a chic house in ST-Tropez, she was looking forward to a relaxing day. Summer temperatures, ice -cooled rosé and a glittering pool literally invited to relax. The scenery radiated an incomparable serenity. But the calm was soon disturbed, as an unexpected visit to the form of the neighbors, the Johnsons, on the mat. The author had not expected the toy hustle and bustle of four children and suddenly felt surprised.

The reality of guestness

The attraction of living with friends is not only in the comfort of the large premises, but also in the idea that you can be part of a family that has fun together. Such promises sound tempting, but during the stay you can see that reality often looks very different.
"Feel at home!" is often the first sentence that guests hear. But this carefree is quickly clouded if you are integrated into the daily rituals of the hosts - sometimes involuntarily. If you just want to make or sleep in the bed, you will quickly be “motivated” to overcome an internal house rules.

Then there are family challenges: disputes and problems that you witness as a guest unintentionally witnessed. You suddenly become an unofficial therapist of the hosts who hear their worries while looking for a break yourself. So the stay can not only be pleasant, but also emotionally exhausting.

The phenomenon that the guest feels like a "house inventory" is reinforced by the constant necessary necessary to participate in activities. From tennis, large dinner to announced leisure activities - often you feel forced to participate. The possibility of simply spending time self -determined becomes rarity.

gifts and expectations

Of course there are also the popular guest gifts: the typical bottles of wine or a typical delicacy are often not enough. Anyone who is invited as a friend often feels under pressure to attract attention to their own hosts through creative and expensive gifts. It starts with designer purchases and in no way ends with the generous tip for the staff, which is expected at the end of the stay. An hour in the nearest luxury supermarket is often inevitable.

Especially as an adult, it becomes increasingly clear that the guest never goes very carefree. Especially in large groups or at festivals, it can quickly lead to losing sight of your own relaxation and instead appreciates the value of your own privacy.

The claims that are placed on the future visits and the behavior of the guests are not without what the pressure is reinforced by the supposedly "perfect hosts". A fairytale estate can, despite all the opulence, turn out to be uncomfortable in detail. The actual enjoyment of the event is often in the shade of these expectations.

longing for autonomy

The longing for a little piece of freedom and calm during this visits is becoming increasingly stronger. If you have the feeling of constantly taking care of others and having to adapt to the expectations of others, the desire for loneliness remains unsatisfied. You dream of a place where you can just be, without obligations.

Just as Gianni Agnelli once expressed it in a comprehensible manner: "The last luxury is a small, private piece of land." In the hustle and bustle of social life, you often lose the valuable moment of calm out of your eyes that you want when you enter a friend's house. The challenge of being a guest is much more complex than originally assumed - sometimes it is exactly what you want to avoid the most.

social expectations for the guest

In many cultures, there are strong expectations of how guests should behave. The idea that the guest adapts to the rules of the house is widespread. However, this can lead to tensions or misunderstandings if the cultural backgrounds are different. In many European countries, for example, visits are closely linked to food and drink. Participation of meals is considered a sign of hospitality and often requires active participation in kitchen operation.

traditions can also influence the type of gifts that guests bring. In Germany, for example, it brings usual gifts, such as flowers or wine, while in other countries it may be expected to be culturally specific. These differences can lead to uncertainty with the guest who wonders whether his contribution corresponds to the expectations or not.

influence of social media

The role of social media has significantly changed the perception of hospitality and the guest. While personal invitations and direct contact were in the foreground in the past, many people now spend time to document their trips and visiting experiences online. Instagram and Facebook create a certain pressure not only to look good, but also to capture the perfect holiday moments.

This media staging can lead to both hosts and guests are excessively busy creating or presenting the “ideal” experience. Photos of opulent meals at the table or stylishly furnished guest rooms have become a standard for many. The focus can therefore be more on the external impression than on the actual quality of interpersonal relationships.

comfort zones and personal limits

The examination of your own comfort zones is another important aspect of guest. Many people feel enormous pressure to feel good and at the same time meet expectations that may exceed their personal limits. Here it can be helpful to communicate openly through needs and preferences both as a host and as a guest.

In addition, the individual personality of a person shapes the way he acts as a guest. Someone who is introverted can quickly feel uncomfortable in a fully occupied house and may want more retreats, while extrovert guests feel comfortable in large groups. It is important that both sides recognize these differences to enable harmonious coexistence.

economic aspects of the guest

Of course, the economic aspect also plays a role in the guest and being. The costs for the provision of accommodation as well as for catering and leisure activities quickly add up. Many hosts feel obliged to offer their guests a high -quality experience, which often leads to high expenses. This can cause additional stress, especially if the financial options are limited.

The decision to let someone live with them is often a cultural decision that can be associated with a prestige or status feeling. If someone offers luxurious holiday accommodation, expectations of guests can also increase. This interplay of economy and interpersonal expectations helps to ensure that it can become a complex matter on both sides.